My Major Life Struggle

My beautiful, strong mommy!

My mom wins Top Individual Fundraiser with over $11,000!

My mom, myself and my roommate and friend Raven

Something I think everyone needs to know about me so they can better understand who I am and why I am, is my major life struggle. My mother, 50 years old, sweet as can be, loving as can be, and an angel sent from above, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gherigs Disease) in January this year. Her symptoms began in January 2014, when she began to realize weakness in her left leg. She now has no control over her left leg, and is beginning to lose control over her right leg.

Now why is this such a struggle for me? Since my mom has been diagnosed, I have been at Humboldt State, but I have also spent time at home, seeing her degrade, seeing her struggle, watching her fall helplessly, and unsatisfied with herself because she can’t do everything she used to be able to do. As a wife and a mother, she has always done the laundry, the dishes, the cooking and the cleaning with the help of everyone else. Now she watches us do those things, but she can’t always help back.

This past summer, I came home from college with my mom using a walker to help her move around since her left leg could only drag. She could not move it on her own. Coming home to that new lifestyle was tough, but it only made me push more to help around the house. I left college again in August with her just starting to use a temporary transport chair for long distance only; she still used her walker 95% of her time. I came home October 2, for the Greater Sacramento Walk to Defeat ALS, and my mom was now using a chair anywhere she went outside of the house. Three weeks later, I went home the weekend before leaving for Austin, because I was homesick and struggling on focusing in school. I went home to a whole new home. Over the past few months, my parents remodeled their bathroom, shower and bedroom. By the time I came home the end of October, my mom had grab bars for assistance, a new bed setup, a new handicap van to drive, and an automated wheelchair. I also noticed she was struggling to do more things like put socks and shoes on, get up off her bed or a chair or the couch, and more. I could see her weakness getting worse.

Being back at school has been tough this semester, and I have been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. However, the support I have received from all my friends and family has been huge, and there will never be enough for me to say thank you. The support coming from my own struggling family has never been bigger, and my family has never been closer.

The meaning to this blog is: Never judge a book by its cover, until you read and know the detail inside.

I love my family more than life itself and would do anything for them.