I know this can be a touchy subject, but today is a day that will never leave my heart, and I know we all have this kind of day at some point in our lives. Whether you have lost a relationship, friendship, friend, family member, or anyone in your life, it will always be hard to move on. I have lost many people in my life, both by choice and by tragedy. Today is a day I began a relationship with someone four years ago, and lost him by choice. And all I can say is: heartbreak sucks.
Whether you have known someone for months or years, it will never be easy. Some are harder than others, some are easier said than done, and some you realize are not worth it. Usually the people you made first memories with, had a special thing you did that was your “thing” to do together, or someone who was there was all you needed was a shoulder to cry on. This person was all of that. But, he is also not the only one who I have had this kind of bond and loss with.
Like all of you, or most of you, I have had a hard time in the past coping with these losses of mine. But all I have to say is, when you learn how to cope with the hardest loss of your life, you can get through anything. Here are a few tips I have that could help one cope with a loss.
- Breathe. There is nothing more important than being able to breathe your way through pain. I have had a past problem with anxiety, and to this day I still do. But I have learned to defeat a majority of it by breathing like this: inhale through your nose with a four count… Breathe in, two, three, four… Exhale out your mouth with a four count… Out, two, three, four…
- Slowly transition your lifestyle out of the old ways. For me, some of these people were a part of my daily routine or even weekly routine. To move on, do NOT rush out of your routine with them, transition slowly and at your own pace.
- For those who have friends going through a loss, do not rush them to move on. Let them cope at their own pace and just be a support system for them to help them stay moving in the right direction.
- Cherish old memories, but don’t hold on for too long. More or less, let yourself cry and feel pain, as hard as that can be. Feel the pain so you can learn to release it. Don’t ignore the past and pain you’re feeling, that will make it worse later on. People say that ignoring the pain is helping them, but most of them get karma biting their ass later on.
- Lastly… It is okay for them to always be in the back of your mind. Not the front, but the very, very back. If this person really made an impact on your life, they always will even when they are gone. You are not required to let go of that in order to move on. Some, it is easier to do than for others; that is OKAY.
I have moved on from many of my losses, but I can tell you, not a single one of them will I ever forget. You are allowed the same. Do not take losses in a negative way, find what you can get out of it to better yourself, make them proud, jealous, miss you, want you, whatever it is: just learn from your losses and mistakes.
After you read this, feel free to comment below as anonymous if you need any other advice or help. These are only what I think is most important and a good start to your moving on journey.